Chapter Twelve

It took Jonathan two weeks to read Chris's story. It truly was as amazing as Mr. Phillips had said, and possibly even better. But perhaps Jonathan was just a little biased.

Chris was too embarrassed to ask what Jonathan's opinion was, mostly because he was a bit afraid that it would be negative. It was quite the opposite though; Jonathan almost loved Chris just a little bit more for that story. Even if it hadn't been about him, he thought that he would have felt the same.

Certainly, it seemed as though everyday he was thinking about Chris more often, which was a feat in and of itself, because he thought of Chris a lot. Almost every waking minute, even.

Something came over him one day. He wasn't exactly sure what or why, and it was this feeling like he had never experienced before, but it was so overpowering. When they came home from school he quickly threw his bag on his floor then left to see Chris.

Chris was sitting on his bed, reading. He looked so innocent, and it made the desire burn hotter through Jonathan's veins. After standing quietly for a few minutes, Jonathan slightly leaned back and pressed the sole of his foot against the door.

The sound of the door clicking shut made Chris look up.

“Jay, we're not supposed to have the door closed.” Jonathan paid his words no attention, and just walked away from the door and towards Chris's bed. “Jay,” he said, more pressingly, “your mum-”

“My mum's not home,” Jonathan replied in a husky voice. “She won't be home for hours.”

Chris set down the book he had been reading and stared into Jonathan's eyes as Jonathan climbed onto his bed and over his body. His breathing became labored as Jonathan came closer and closer, until finally their bodies were pressed together.

Chris sunk his fingers into Jonathan's hair as their lips met, and Jonathan experienced the oh so familiar feel of Chris's tongue massaging his own. Within ten seconds Jonathan's hands slid up from the surface of Chris's sheets to the tiny bits of skin peeking out from under Chris's shirt.

“What if your mum comes home early?” Chris breathily asked.

“Then we'll make this quick,” Jonathan answered throatily, slipping his fingers under the hem of Chris's shirt and using the backs of his wrists to move the fabric as his hands ran up Chris's bare skin. When he felt the bumps of Chris's ribs he noticed Chris shiver a little.

Chris gently pulled his hands from Jonathan's hair, lifting his arms up slowly to allow Jonathan to more easily remove his shirt. Once the bothersome clothing had been tossed carelessly to the floor, Jonathan's mouth resumed its place combining forces with Chris's.

Chris never seemed like a very strong boy. He was athletic, sure, but more with cardiovascular than anything else. His lanky frame would lead anyone to believe that he was a rather fragile person, even someone who he was intimate with.

Or maybe they hadn't been intimate enough, because Jonathan certainly found out that Chris was about twenty times stronger than he looked, and was able to push Jonathan over to the other side of the bed without any warning whatsoever.

And Jonathan kinda liked the dominating side of Chris- perhaps one of the reasons he stayed with Chris for so long the first time- so he didn't mind letting Chris take control.

“Actually, I think,” Chris began, resting his hand on Jonathan's stomach and making small circles with his thumb, “it wouldn't be so bad if we took it... slow.”

Jonathan's face grew hot at Chris's touch; even through the material his movements were far too much. Jonathan closed his eyes and by some miracle Chris was able, in that small amount of time, to completely remove Jonathan's shirt. Then Chris was keeping true to his word, focusing his kisses on Jonathan's neck first, only moving downwards ever so slowly. Jonathan almost felt bad about just laying there and leaving Chris to do all the work, but he forgot to because he was too busy thinking about where Chris would go next.

What seemed to Jonathan like hours later, Chris looked up at him and in a quiet voice asked, “Jay, are you sure you want to do this?”

“I'm sure,” Jonathan replied without taking his eyes off the ceiling. But seconds later Chris's face was blocking his view.

“One hundred percent sure?” There was a look in his eyes that nearly resembled worry.

“Yeah.”

Chris brought his hand up and laid it against Jonathan's cheek. “It's just... this means a lot to me, I want to know that you won't... regret it.”

“I won't. I never would,” Jonathan softly said, and Chris believed him.

He saw Chris smile, but only for a fraction of a second before Chris disappeared again. Then he felt Chris's presence drawing dangerously close to the lower half of his torso. Chris's soft, wet lips were placed down in small intervals along his abdomen, and then there was a slight pressure as Chris reached out and undid the button of Jonathan's jeans.

He could barely remember anything after that, except for the one thing he was certain of:

It felt so good.

Jonathan's leg twitched and his eyes fluttered open. He heard an odd whooshing sound, and as his consciousness returned he realized it was his heavy breathing. He flipped over and instantly recognized the room as his own.

He looked to the window; the sun was just beginning to rise. He sighed as his breath slowly returned to normal, then shifted his eyes to stare at the ceiling.

Beads of sweat were actually forming and dripping down the back of his neck. As if the room hadn't felt warm enough, his could feel his cheeks turn red as he suddenly recalled his dream. His eyes widened a bit and he covered his face with his hands in a vain attempt to erase his memory.

Guilt was the only emotion coursing through him as he watched Chris eating breakfast. Guilt, and a little curiosity. When Chris opened his mouth just a bit to take in the cereal from his spoon, the flash of his tongue sent Jonathan's thoughts spiraling out of control.

He was in a daze for a few minutes, until Chris noticed and waved his hand in front of Jonathan's eyes. Jonathan started, blinked a few times, then just looked blankly at Chris.

“Jay, are you all right?”

Chris's big blue eyes did nothing to help, and really only made matters worse. Jonathan looked down at his hands and tried to think of something else.

“Uh huh, I'm fine,” he quickly and unconvincingly evaded.

He wasn't sure why he felt guilty; after all, it wasn't as if Chris was just some friend of his that he suddenly had weird feelings for. Chris was his boyfriend, it wasn't exactly unusual to have those sort of thoughts.

Maybe it was just because Chris had absolutely no clue about it. In that case, Jonathan thought it might help to tell him. Only, he quickly realized that it would be rather awkward to talk about.

“Chris... I need to ask you something.”

“Sure, what?”

The words froze as they journeyed to Jonathan's lips. How the hell was he going to phrase this? He didn't want to seem creepy, after all. “Have you, uh... well, have you ever had, like, a dream about me?”

Chris stared at him for a few seconds, then his eyes were lit with realization. “Why, Jonathan!” Then he smiled slyly, seductively lowering his voice and winking as he said, “Sure, I've had dreams about you.”

“Really?” Jonathan asked, feeling relieved and only a bit less strange.

“Oh, yeah. Plenty of times. And some of them were, you know... beforewestarteddating.” Chris abruptly shoved a bunch of cereal into his mouth as Jonathan looked wildly at him.

“Wait...” Jonathan shifted a little in his chair. “When you said that you... missed this, and you've had dreams about it before... were they those kinds of dreams?”

“Some of them,” Chris replied, then scrunched up his nose. “Does that freak you out?”

“No,” Jonathan said, shaking his head, “it's actually a bit of a relief.”

“What's a relief?”

Chris and Jonathan looked up to see Penny walking into the room. She stopped in front of the table and tiredly placed her hands on her hips.

“It's something we're going to have to have a talk about, isn't it?” she asked.

“Mum-”

“It's nothing, Penny,” Chris coolly interrupted. “Just usual things that teenage boys think about.”

Penny was not assured by Chris's response. “Great. Now we have to have a talk.”

Jonathan shot a look at Chris. He always dreaded parental talks, and now that they had shifted more towards adult topics, he enjoyed them even less. Chris looked back at him with an innocent and apologetic stare, and Jonathan knew he couldn't be mad for long. In fact, he already wasn't mad at Chris.

In an attempt to distract his mother as she sat down at the table, Jonathan asked, “Mum, are you feeling all right? You look a bit tired, at least.”

“Yeah, well, I had a rough day yesterday. I got out of work a bit late and I didn't come home until much later after that.”

Penny groaned and buried her face in her hands. It was one of the few moments in Jonathan's life that he wished his father was still alive. Then his mother wouldn't have to work so hard.

“Yeah... why did you come home so late?” Jonathan skeptically asked.

Penny dropped her hands and glared at Jonathan, almost as if she knew that he was suspicious of her and she tried to convey to him that there was no reason to be. “I was asked to a parent-teacher conference. Actually, I was basically forced to it.”

“Jonathan,” Chris sang, “in trouble again, are we?”

“I wouldn't be so quick to pin it on Jonathan, Chris, as it was your English teacher I met with,” Penny sharply said.

“Oh.” Chris stopped smirking and ate some of his cereal.

“And it wasn't anything bad, he just wanted to speak about your highly skilled writing. He suggested you enroll in some sort of summer writing program.”

Chris's eyes widened a little as he thought about it. “That would be cool!”

“Is that something you're actually interested in, then?” she asked him.

Chris sighed and shook his head insistently. “Aw, no, Penny, I couldn't let you do that-”

“Chris,” she sternly interjected. “You have lived in this house for over a year now, you are my responsibility, and if there's something like this that you want to do, something that you're interested in that will benefit you in the long run, then I would be more than willing to pay for it.”

“But I...” Chris realized it was no use fighting, not only because he was fighting against something he wanted, but also because the stubborn look on Penny's face said she wouldn't back down. “OK. I'll still feel bad, though.”

“Then you can write about it.” Chris laughed a little, and Penny smiled in return.

“Thank you,” Chris said, and he gave Penny a kiss on the cheek.

“Yeah, yeah,” she droned. “Now, about this talk we need to have.” Penny stood up and walked around the table, aiming for the counter where her precious coffee awaited.

“Mum,” Jonathan whined, turning around in his chair. “Do we really have to?”

“Yes,” Penny replied without looking back. “It's not like I'm thrilled about it either, Jonathan, but I'm not going to be some irresponsible and clueless parent. And I don't want to have irresponsible and clueless children around, either.”

“Mum, you're acting like there's some possible way for either of us to... I don't know, get pregnant or something.”

“I wouldn't let that happen, anyway,” Chris quietly said. “Not again.”

Penny turned around and threw her hands onto her hips. “Jonathan, that's a pretty crude thing for you to say. There are other consequences of having sex, you know.” Jonathan cringed at his mother's use of the word 'sex'. Penny sighed and let her hands drop limply. “This is not a conversation I ever wanted to have with you. It was supposed to be your father's... Well, I guess we can all deal.”

“Penny,” Chris began, “I should point out that we haven't actually done anything ye- uh, in case you were wondering.”

“I appreciate your input, Chris, but believe me, I know you haven't done anything yet.”

“Oh,” Chris said, and ducked his head. Jonathan glared at him for a little while, almost as if to say that Chris had no right to be embarrassed, only he did.

“Clearly, you both want to, and that's where the problem starts. I can set rules, I can't actually enforce them... especially when I'm not around. And...” Penny sat down beside Jonathan and rested her forehead in her palms. “I know you're not stupid boys, please don't act like it. That's all I can really say, I'm too worn out to deal with this now.”

“It's a serious thing,” Jonathan quietly agreed. “Mum, I'm not taking this lightly...” Jonathan held himself back from added that if he was, he'd have already jumped Chris. It was true, but he didn't need his mother knowing that, though he had a feeling she somehow knew anyway.

Jonathan expected Penny to reply at some point, but it was Chris who spoke long before she did. “Jay, I think... I think we should talk about it. Because...” Chris was clearly struggling to get the words out, his cheeks lightly flushed and only growing redder as he continued to speak. “I've never gone that far with a boy. I mean, obviously you haven't either, but... I'm almost afraid to.”

“If you're not ready... that's fine,” Jonathan said. “I'm not entirely sure-” Jonathan shifted in his chair, trying to forget the presence of his mother. “Maybe neither of us are actually ready.”

“It's not that I'm not ready, just that... Well, I think a tiny part of me wants to believe that it's still not true, and then my parents won't hate me.” Chris smiled painfully. “I know that's ridiculous. I'm gay, and nothing will change that. But they can't change either, and so if I go ahead and... then there's really no hope left. Does that make sense?”

Jonathan nodded slightly and reached across the table for Chris's hand. “Yeah, it makes sense.”

“I mean, I don't think it really makes sense,” Chris said. “It's not rational, anyway.”

“Well, your parents aren't very rational, either. So it fits, I guess,” Jonathan said a bit lightheartedly. Chris's smile turned a little more pleasant-looking, and he nodded his agreement.

“They are the nastiest people I've ever met. They are the biggest couple of vain snobs this town has ever seen. All they care about is appearances and wealth, and if you don't fit in then you're completely out of luck. They surround themselves with people just like them, but they're still far worse. Far, far worse. Really, it's a good thing that I'm not being raised like that anymore.” Chris took a deep breath, and his smile faded. “But they're still my parents. And no matter how many times I tell myself to just hate them because they're not worth it, I just can't. But they hate me. It's so unfair.”

“I don't think they hate you, exactly-”

“They disapprove of me, whatever. It all amounts to the same thing. They'll never speak to me again, because I couldn't live up to their standards.” Chris briefly looked down at his and Jonathan's hands, then back up at Jonathan and Penny. “I don't think either of you know how much it means to me that you've given me as much as you have. That house that I grew up in... I always thought it was home. It just seemed right to call it that. But this is my home now, and I've realized that what I had before was really just a place to stay. And get food and stuff like that,” Chris laughed.

“Well, Chris, it might sound a bit odd,” Penny started, “but I think you were just what this household needed after Randall passed. And maybe, in some strange way, it was what was meant to happen.”

“Maybe it was,” Chris said, almost pointlessly. Then he shook his head and smiled again. “Anyway, I'm so glad I have you guys.”

“And we're glad to have you,” Penny happily replied.

Then suddenly the phone rang.

“I'll get it!” Chris jumped up from his seat and grabbed the phone, spinning it around in his hand in an attempt to be cool. He nearly dropped it, and Jonathan laughed at him.

“Nice one, Chris.” Chris made a face at him, then answered the phone.

“Hello?” he chirped. “Yeah... Uh, no, why?...” Chris's face suddenly went blank and he lowered his voice as he spoke more directly into the phone, “Really?... Yeah, yeah, sure. I'll see you soon.”

Chris ghostly placed the phone back on its receiver. He slowly turned to Jonathan and Penny, and the latter asked, “What was that about?”

“I, uh... I have to go pick up Ty...” Chris realized that he'd been addressing the floor, so he raised his head and continued, “Kirsten ran away.” Chris paused, but ignored Penny and Jonathan's reactions and started for the door.