Chapter Ten

Penny looked up at her son as they both heard the noise of the front door opening. Then there were a few footsteps, and some muffled murmurs, then silence.

“It's about time,” Jonathan said.

Penny rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. Is that because you want to spend every waking moment with him?” she asked, mockingly.

Jonathan's cheeks flushed deep red, and he opened his mouth to retort before he was cut off by a cheery Chris.

“Hey, guys!” Chris stood off to the side of the doorway, almost as if he was hiding something. Jonathan jumped at the chance to ignore his mother, and so he quickly spun around to see Chris.

“Where were you?” he asked, his urgent tone a little frightening.

“Jonathan, stop it,” Penny commanded. She peacefully turned her eyes to Chris. “Chris?”

“Oh, sorry I took so long. Uh, I ran into someone... someone I want you guys to meet.” Chris moved over and waved at the area past the doorway. “This is my brother, Alex,” he said as Alex stepped into view, drawing looks of shock from Penny and Jonathan. “Alex, Penny and Jay- uh, Jonathan.”

“Nice to meet you,” Alex kindly said to the room. Jonathan absentmindedly grunted in return, and Penny walked over to him.

“It's nice to meet you,” she hesitantly repeated, the look on her face making it obvious that she was judging him.

“Thank you for taking Chris in.” Alex awkwardly scanned the room for a bit. “It's a little weird to think that someone else is taking care of him now.” Alex's eyes stopped on Penny, and he smiled at her. “But I'm sure you're doing a much better job.”

Penny seemed to approve of his statement, so she smiled back and asked, “Would you care to join us for dinner? It's not much, but you're welcome to, if you like.”

“Actually, I should probably get going soon. I'm supposed to be dining with my parents.” His smile faded as he looked over at Chris. “It wouldn't hurt to stay for a bit longer, though. I suspect they're not in the best mood right now.”

“Why is that?” Penny inquired.

Alex's eyes widened a little and he fumbled to make a decision. Chris was much quicker than he was. “I went to see them.”

For the first time since his entrance, everyone's focus shifted off of Alex. Jonathan stood up from his chair; Penny slowly and apprehensively turned herself to face Chris.

“You did?” Penny replied, and Chris nodded. “And...?”

“And I saw them,” he shrugged. “They saw me. Then we left and came back here.”

“They didn't say anything?”

“No.”

“Did you say anything to them?” Penny asked.

“No, and it wouldn't have mattered anyway.” Chris looked down at his feet. His voice had become low and cracked, and as he traced the paths of his shoelaces with his eyes he desperately wished he could stop being so sad all the time. He just wanted to be happy, why was the world so against that?

Suddenly the physical air around him changed as he felt the presence of two arms being wrapped around him. He didn't need to look up to know who it was; those arms had been around him enough times before that he just knew.

“Uh... come on, then,” Penny said to Alex. “If you won't have anything to eat, at least stay for a few minutes. I think it would mean a lot to Chris.”

“Yeah,” Alex agreed as he stared at his brother, making note of just how supportive these people were of Chris. It made him feel a little better.

Neither Chris nor Jonathan noticed when Penny and Alex walked into the kitchen, they just remained in the hallway, tightly embracing. Alex sat down beside Penny, thinking that if he sat next to her then it wouldn't be so awkward talking to her. For some reason he felt that sitting opposite her would put him under the spotlight even more so than he already was.

“Are you boys joining us or what?” Penny called out into the hallway.

“I love you,” Jonathan whispered and placed a soft kiss on Chris's ear before they broke apart and entered the other room.

“Oh, wait,” Chris suddenly said just before he sat down. He momentarily disappeared through the doorway, then reappeared seconds later with a white plastic bag, which he handed to Penny.

“Oh, thank you,” Penny cheerfully replied, grabbing the bag from Chris and bringing it over to the counter. Chris sat down and clasped his hands on the table, waiting for conversation to break out.

“So, Alex,” Chris began after realizing no one else was going to speak. Penny had taken her seat once again, but had felt, like Jonathan, that it was not really her place to say anything. “How's your... love life? Or whatever, just say something.”

Alex laughed a little. “It's, uh... well, I'm not engaged anymore. My fiance left me. Oh, and I was engaged before,” he added. Oddly he didn't seem too upset. “But what about you, eh?” Alex suggestively raised an eyebrow.

“Well...” Chris cautiously turned his head towards Jonathan and smiled.

“I kinda figured.” Alex narrowed his eyes and tilted his head to the side. “You guys do look cute together, though. As long as you're happy.”

“Oh, that means a lot to me,” Chris sincerely said. He wanted to say, but couldn't find the words, that Alex's approval was nearly the most important thing in the world, certainly very high on the list. He was largely convinced that there would never be another person in his family who accepted him. Luckily, the bond between the two brothers was strong enough that Alex understood all of that without being told.

Their conversation lasted for another ten minutes before Alex announced that he must be on his way. Penny and Jonathan bid him farewell from the kitchen, but Chris took the liberty of walking Alex back out to his car.

“I'll talk to mum and dad for you,” Alex told him as he stood behind the open car door.

“I don't think I'll make any difference,” Chris said, “but thank you.”

Alex looked at him for a second longer, then reached into his car and pulled out some sort of card. He handed it to Chris and said, “Call me sometime, yeah?”

Chris looked at the card; it was a business card for what he assumed what Alex's graphic design company. When he brought his eyes back up, Alex was already fully in his car. He waved, then stood for a while and watched as Alex pulled out of the driveway and took off down the road.

As he walked back inside, he had the strange feeling like he had just lived through an entire week's worth of events in one hour. The wafting smell of dinner stroked his nostrils, and momentarily his thoughts subsided as he realized that he was rather famished.

He almost shoveled down his food, receiving an odd glare from Penny. “Geez, Chris, you'd think you hadn't eaten in days,” she said.

Chris slowly chewed that which he currently had in his mouth, then swallowed and pointlessly replied, “Oh.”

Jonathan wasn't paying attention to either of them; he was too busy absentmindedly swirling his fork around his plate. The patterns left behind by the trailing prongs were pretty, but he didn't care. He was rather worried about going to school the next day.

Would anyone say anything about he and Chris? Of course they would, though maybe not to their faces. Jonathan wasn't sure which would be harder to handle, furtive gossip or upfront degradation. He knew Chris dealt with both all the time, but at the moment he was more worried about himself, which he realized was really selfish. But it wasn't entirely his fault; he'd never been in this sort of situation before, and he was quite afraid of finding out what his reaction would be to the opinions of everyone else.

“Jonathan,” Penny said very loudly, and as he snapped out of it, Jonathan guessed that she had been trying to catch his focus for a while. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Jonathan coolly said.

Penny stared at him, disbelieving. “Well, will you help me clean up, please?”

“Sure.” It took Jonathan a few seconds to realize that Chris was already gone from the table and seemingly the kitchen in general. “Where's Chris?” he asked.

“Are you sure you're OK?” Penny stood in front of Jonathan and carefully examined his facial features.

“Yeah...”

“Chris went up to his room. Said he was exhausted. Jonathan,” Penny firmly placed her hand on Jonathan's cheek, “what's going on?”

“Mum, I-”

“You can tell me all you like that you're fine,” she interrupted. “I'm smart enough to know that you're lying.”

“I am fine,” Jonathan stubbornly replied, prying his mother's hand from his face. “I was just thinking about school tomorrow is all.”

Jonathan was hoping that would satisfy her, but Penny just looked at him sympathetically. “You're worried about the other kids bullying you?” she asked, though it was actually more of a statement than a question. “Listen, Jonathan, you're happy with Chris, right?”

Jonathan nodded decisively. “And I know that's all that should matter,” he said, guessing the advice his mother was about to give him, “but...”

“It's still tough to deal with all that other stuff,” Penny finished. “Think of it this way, any time anyone says something to you, it's just them vocalizing their own insecurities. You've found something that makes you happy, and you're willing to accept that it may not be what everyone else considers normal. A lot of people only wish they could do that.”

“Thank you,” Jonathan quietly replied, feeling that he had nothing else to say.

Penny smiled at him then went about clearing the table. Jonathan helped here and there, though there wasn't much for him to do with only two plates that had been left behind. Penny brought the plates to the sink, and Jonathan decided to wipe down the table's surface until he felt it was clean enough.

Once the task was completed, Jonathan went upstairs with the intention of resting in his room. But just before his hand reached the knob of his door, he had the sudden urge to see what Chris was up to.

Chris didn't seem to be up to much of anything. He was sitting cross-legged in the middle of his bed, cradling in his hands what looked like a rock of some sort. He was just staring intently at it, though not so intently that he didn't notice Jonathan standing at his doorway.

“Hey, Jay,” he said without shifting his eyes at all.

“Hey...” Jonathan took a few steps into Chris's room and closer to the bed, but he kept his distance. “Uh, I was just.... just wondering what you were doing. If maybe you wanted any company, or...”

Chris smiled at Jonathan and gently patted the empty space beside him. Jonathan awkwardly sat down, then turned his head and found that Chris's bright blue eyes were trying to pierce through him.

“Your company is always welcome, love,” Chris said brightly. He flipped the rock around in his hands, all the while still staring at Jonathan. Jonathan watched Chris's hands.

“Why do you have a rock?” Jonathan asked, a little judgmentally.

“Um... sentimental reasons.” Chris blinked a few times, then chuckled and looked down at his hands. “I nicked it from the school the first day I talked to you. It was one of the ones you were standing on.”

“Oh. That's... normal. And not creepy at all.”

Chris opened his mouth to speak before he had actually prepared any words to use. He took a deep breath and utilized the time to think. “It was an important day for me.”

“Well, I guess it was important for me, too,” Jonathan said.

Chris set down the rock, then stared at Jonathan for a few moments. “Can I ask something of you, Jonathan?”

“What?” Jonathan asked. “And should I be afraid?”

Chris laughed. “I don't think you should be afraid.” He reached out and at first grabbed a random part of Jonathan's arm, but ultimately held on to only Jonathan's hand, clasping it firmly between his own hands. “Will you tell me about, um, when you got that note from me? And stuff like that. I'd like to hear how you felt about it,” he bashfully added, bowing his head a little.

“Yeah, OK,” Jonathan replied after a moment of silence. Chris smiled and moved a bit closer to Jonathan. “Well, I was coming back from... whatever class I was coming back from, and I stopped at my locker. When I opened it the note was on the door- wait,” Jonathan interrupted himself and furrowed his brows, “how did you get the note inside my locker? It was, you know, locked.”

“Oh.” Chris thought for a few seconds, then said, “It's not something I'm exactly proud of, but back then people would do anything I asked them to. So I got some kid to break into your locker for me.” Chris scrunched up his nose and made a pained expression. “Sorry.”

“I wouldn't be sorry, I think that's what got us to where we are now.” Chris raised his eyebrows as if to say that Jonathan had made a good point. “Anyway, um... yeah. I saw the note, and at first I was like, what the hell? I didn't exactly know who you were, even though I'd heard your name and probably seen you around before, but still, I was really confused. I actually almost forgot to meet you, but luckily I remembered when I was walking out of the school.”

Chris laughed, which was a relief; Jonathan had thought for a second that Chris might have been a tad angered by that. “Well, then it's a very good thing you remembered.”

“It is, indeed. And then I found you, and I still had no freaking clue what was going on. Then you asked me... you asked me if I was seeing anyone. That caught me off guard, definitely.” Jonathan paused briefly, staring right into Chris's eyes. “I couldn't say no to you. Even if I had wanted to, which for some strange reason I didn't. There was just something about you, I guess.”

“Is that why you love me now?” Chris innocently asked. “Just... something?”

Jonathan smiled and closed his hand around Chris's. “I love you now because you're a fantastic person. You're very sweet, and funny, and... you're still the only boy I would ever call gorgeous.”

Chris grinned back at Jonathan, but the look in his eyes told Jonathan that he was about to hear something far more emotional than his own tale had been. Jonathan braced himself, knowing full well just how affected Chris could be at times.

“One day I was walking through the cafeteria, and I saw you,” Chris said. “Then I just got this feeling that you were different from everyone else... maybe like I was different... I couldn't stop thinking about you after that. For, like, a week I was trying to think of some way to talk to you. And I realized that I liked you. You were the first boy I ever actually liked.”

“I was?”

“Yeah. It was scary to think that, because I was still really confused, and up until then I had, you know, just looked at boys every now and then. It never really dawned on me... like, I knew I wasn't exactly 'normal' as I think most people would put it, but I was unsure of how, you know what I mean?” Chris paused, and Jonathan nodded slightly. “When I saw you, I was sure. Of course, I tried to convince myself that it was just you.”

“I couldn't imagine going through all that,” Jonathan quietly said.

Chris frowned and looked down at their joined hands. “That's why I was so unfaithful to you, Jay. I really hate myself for acting like that.”

“You shouldn't,” Jonathan told him. “It's understandable. And I might have done the same if I were you.”

“No,” Chris replied, shaking his head, “you're a much better person than I am. Than I used to be.”

As Jonathan looked at Chris, he remembered his recent fears. “Chris, I need your help.”

“Sure,” Chris said, not even bothering to question his request. But Jonathan felt compelled to explain.

“I need you to teach me to be strong like you. I want people to know about us, but I can't say that I'll be able to handle the... criticism.” Jonathan sighed uneasily. “I'm sure it's not easy, but you seem to do a good job of not letting people get to you.”

Chris smiled kindly and shrugged. “They're just insecure, right?” As Chris said it, Penny's voice echoed in Jonathan's mind. “Whatever they say, they're just talking about themselves.”

“Is it really that simple?”

“Nothing's ever that simple, Jay,” Chris said with a contradicting grin stretched across his face. “But if you tell yourself that often enough, eventually you start to believe it, even if only a tiny bit at first. Then the rest gets easier to deal with.”